Tuesday, 18 August 2009

I am what I am


~~Mum said: ` Honey, you have got chocolate all over your top`; I responded: `Whatever mum! I am having fun here wrecking my train` Completely fearless of the consequence then. ~~


Admittedly, I have a few inglorious fears:
- Wild animals: although I managed to meet a slightly over 6 feet tall brown bear in Colorado and a massive 4 metres long Manta ray in Thailand, doddering next to me; I am still not friends with them
- Pain: emotional and physical (especially needles); I enjoy taking a good few weeks to mourn and sob over it like a baby

Odd is, it appears to my mates that I am the most courageous person they’ve ever met; really not sure where that comes from. Maybe the way that I treat life and I am just the way I am.
Favourite quote of Gail’s from an adorable friend: ‘Fuck it, mate; think about in five years’ time you’ll regret it if you don’t get it over with now!’
Yeah, that’s how I am known to others.

I first had my tattoo done back years ago in Australia – it was just another sunny bright day at Bondi Beach, Sydney, as it is always reputable for; a friend and I were strolling down Campbell Parade and we were just sick of the idea of not having much done when the day’s through; so we spontaneously shopped for a tattoo instead of another pair of boots. It took the tattooist 2 hours 40 minutes plus 5 cigarette breaks to get the ink on my back, remembering myself cheerfully munching away a cherry-ripe power bar whilst he was doing the hard work, it was an easy piece of cake at that time - 11:40am, my first tattoo done and my back was swelling.

3 years ago, I did the retouch in one of the street stall in Bangkok, Thailand. A mere 30 minutes of retouch was a roller coaster ride for me; not only it hurt more to get the needles deeper in the well -healed wound, but also I was older comparing to good old Aussie days. Yet brave enough to risk it, it’s the INFAMOUS BANGKOK, people, give me some credit!

Last month, I went for another one. It took me several months to research for the top tattooist to go for (aka whoever offers clinical-use anaesthetic); for 50 minutes I sat on a chilly surgery bed, nervous wrecked with sweaty palms and nearly flipped out when the damn anaesthetic didn’t do its magic and it hurts like hell approaching the end of it.
Then it was over, the cold tattooist summoned me to go and I saw instantly he started to pick up another sets of needles tattooing onto a walk-in’s wrist – just like that! The victim demonstrated no facial expression, no grinning nor suffering and most importantly of all – NO ANAESTHETIC in advance! I applauded for that, secretly as I stumbled out, feeling ashamed.

Well, I don’t think I will do it anymore in the future; not saying never forever here, just that I am really glad I‘ve done what I need to do at considerably right time. All in all, time is a fool’s game anyway.

A nice tale to tell, for what it’s worth.

Life is empty and meaningless without you encompassing it with your encounters and freshness. Even if it’s only a weird-looking brown- purple-ish broccoli (which I happened to get one from an organic food store; and it’s nicely sitting in my fridge now, awaiting confirmation on how should be cooked); a new gadget, a trip to strange-land where you’ve never been.
What would you be documenting before each day finishes?

I am adorable, assertive, coward, conscientious, fearless, foolish, honest, giving, intellectually quick, selfish,smart, temperamental, understanding … Whatever portraits of personalities do I possess, I am what I am and carrying on. So should you all.