Wednesday, 5 August 2009

Dating Rules

~~Even Ugly Betty scored 5 dates in 4 seasons – what more do you worry about yourselves?~~

Alright, so I’ve been tagged as the “Love Guru” on Facebook amongst some friends; although I don’t intuitively see myself as the “Expert in dating” so to speak. I love dating, undeniably. I love being in the game and the intrigued feeling to get to know someone new.

Sure I’ve been on some awfully bad dates too that turned into horror stories when you just want to get the hell out of there quick; but there are dates that I’ve been on which later led to a relationship, and they happened to shape me into the person I am now and brought me real grateful life moments that I will never forget.

Oh boy, don’t you just love dating? The uncertainties within, everything look so bright as if there are angels chanting around you two even when you first hit off? Don’t you just love the feeling of having butterflies crumbling widely in your stomach on a date?

Well, I guess I do understand some essential rules for both guys and girls to avoid embarrassing the crap out of yourselves and be able to score a good first impression during dates, after all these years. But then again, please just tell me where is that written for Christ’s sake, that a definitive answer is to be sought after the first date? Is he interested? Is she keen? Is she a keeper? I’ve heard s o many of these questions at 2am whilst I am blissfully on my bed from friends calling after their “Mental broke down”.

Does dating really have to be so stressful? Really?

Take it easy my dear friends and just go along with it – you will find out when you find out as per se.

Nonetheless, here are a few points – feel free to comment/ tag/ if you find they are useful or simply just not true at all; I ‘d like to learn more:

(1) Best First Date scenarios: After work drinks / Casual invitation to a game/ Picnic in a park etc etc …. Anything to do with groupies, in case you don’t like him / her after all – you’d have your friends to fall back onto and it won’t feel awkward for both of you. You never know you might be creating chance for your friends there too to meet their “soul mates”!

(2) Best outfits: For Girls: Nothing too revealing please! I know you have spidery long legs and excellent cleavage, but from my experience, guys like to see less than you put everything out there all at once. Let them fancy you and chase after for more like a puppy. Go for something you have constantly been wearing (Not talking about Yoga costumes here though neither) – those are the wardrobes you feel most comfortable in and no need to sweat about what shoes to go with a new outfit before you leave your room.For Guys: I can’t really say much, girls are all fahionistas naturally, so whatever you wear, you won’t win, but if she’s really into you, she’ll take you even when you are wearing an old tacky Cambridge sweater shirt and track pants.

(3) Don’t let the guy know you are nervous wreck about the date – he’ll only think you are in the lower field and will start playing hard to get. It’s not how we imagine “the most desirable beginning of a fairy tale”, is it?

(4) Don’t ask him if he is REALLY going to call you at the end of the date – if he is interested in you, he’ll call for sure. Trust me. Guys know how to use a phone awesomely. They are not idiots, you know? Just that they need sometime to figure out if they want voice-to voice interaction... it might take sometime.

(5) Don’t dominate conversation – most guys are egotists, they like to brag about themselves, so just let them; show them you are intrigued to hear what they have to say too. At the end of the day, we all want people to listen to ourselves, you’ll get your chance next round.

(6) Don’t open up the Ex-files just yet too soon too quickly, even if you are just trying to be honest. Hang in there, it’s better be discussed when you are in a TRUE RELATIONSHIP (Pay attention here- not IMAGINARY RELATIONSHIP I was referring to) with that person- again you’ll have plenty of time.

(7) Don’t worry about having to make the first move even– it’s seriously not Stone Age now, and most guys seem to be honoured even by this. So if you want to ask a guy out – do it! Throw them the throne and let them feel flattered… for one day

(8) Don’t over-interpret his signals – admit it, most of the time we get the signals wrong and guys don’t even realise they are sending out one just yet.

(9) Don’t be bored when he’s telling you how much he enjoys sports (Even though if the only sports you’ve ever done in your life is playing WII); if you are interested in him, plan a long term attack along with it – ask him to teach you to play his favourite sport! That way, you helped him to boost his confidence level and you get to see him too! Win-win situation.

(10) Do try to lean closer to him with your right side of your body – researches show the right side of human body primarily is more feminine than the left side so play some tricks there to let him fond of you.

(11) If the guy insists to pay for dinner, don’t resist; unless you don’t want a second date with him; then try harder to contribute your share and get it over with. But like said above, plan a long term attack – try offering him a subsequent get-together and you’ll pay next time.

(12) No definite answer to question he asks “Can I kiss you” – which should never supposed to be asked in the first place anyway. Guys- please stop asking and just do it!

(13) To the guys about kissing: Do your math here please – if you have to lean across more than a foot space to reach us; please forgive us of just not interested to be kissed ... by you!

(14) Best time to kiss: At the end of the date, after you walk her home, try gently touching hand/ shoulder/ hair tips of hers and try inch by inch before you move onto the lips. Just like you’d warm up before you do any sports, do you get it?

(15) KISS NATURALLY – no sticking out of tongues/ passionate Hollywood kisses that sorta things are permitted on a first date, unless you think you are as good looking as Hugh Dancy and Claire Danes; otherwise, please give the public a rest.

All in all, I personally think rules are made to be broken. What are useful or just simply crap above should not influence what you have for a person you really feel for.So Screw the rules if you know what you are doing and you know the feeling is mutual.There are no rules in dating – you just have to realised there’s a long stretch of bad in order to become good at it.

So you think you performed badly in front of him?

So you think you wore the wrong shoes to the date and made a fool out of yourself? Oh, all that doesn’t really matter if that person looks at the bright sides of yours and surely, there will be one out there who just adore how beautiful you are as you are. Don’t worry!